Create your own Fabulous

Instead of running around for last minute gifts, decorating the tree, attending fabulous parties…

The tradition we have manufactured the last three years is driving through snow storms hours away, telling each other everything will be okay, waiting for treatments that will dominate the rest of our year to come… and hoping the magic of Christmas will just somehow make everything better.

Each year I watch the first snow and it’s my symbol of hope…

I imagine that snow falling on me and just washing away everything I’ve been through in the previous year, starting anew.

Each year I wait for Christmas to allow those new beginnings; a new chance for me to heal, be in less pain, for my husband to suffer a little less.

…Back to reality

Like clockwork, my cancer always progresses to its worst state in the months following up to the end of the year, until I can’t take it anymore, and we are forced to take action. Most likely because I’ve done treatment all year long, and it’s my body’s way of saying enough is enough … or hey, why did we stop?

Either way

All of the tests, pain, investigations, right before Christmas.

“Do I really have to travel now? we’re days away!”
“We also need to know what’s wrong with you, and we’re not taking any chances, your condition has been too bad lately”
“I know. It’s just so frustrating how this happens every year”

True. I’ve felt awful as of late. Actually, Awful can’t sum up how I’ve felt.

This year is a little different…

I’ve done a year of (P.R.R.T) treatment that’s made my cancer worse.

That was a hard one. โฌ…๏ธ

This IS the time to go and figure out what to do, where to go from here, there could be NO options for me, but I simply don’t believe in that ๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿ™ƒ

…There’s so many quotes out there

“Create your own happiness”

“Be your own sunshine”…

Well, I say Create your own Fabulous.

There’s ALWAYS something else, the question that always remains… are YOU willing to fight?

The answer is always yes.

The days leading up to my appointment…

I made a choice; my body had been fighting me hard, new chest pains, breathing trouble, my tumors alternating between pain crisis and adrenaline outbursts every hour.

….I was done

Which led me to my choice, do I abandon who I am, use the one opportunity I have to leave my house in weeks and go out looking as shitty as I FEEL?

Why should my outside match my insides?

Do I say F you Pheo and try and feel like my normal self as much as I know how? As much as every part of my body is telling me I can’t, what’s the point, just go like you are, it doesn’t matter.

The ‘normal’ me that brightens up those cold white walls, the me that regardless of the dark cold stormy weather, I bring that sunshine, the me that laughs off anything because I’m ready for everything?!

THAT is MY cancer.

Being prepared for just about anything..

Being fabulous despite the odds

I created.my own.fabulous

Why?

Because morale is everything.

Cancer is still going to be there despite the way I look, but it makes me FEEL a heck of a lot better when I don’t look like I have cancer ๐Ÿ’‹

So the next time you’re dreading those cold white walls surrounding you, you’re anxious for that inevitable news, you don’t want to get that scan…

  • Don’t take that extra hour of sleep
  • put on that darker shade of lipstick
  • curl your hair
  • throw on a bit of mascara
  • gurrrl contour and bake that face if you feel up to it

Go all out! ๐Ÿ˜‚โœจ๐Ÿ’–

I didn’t forget about my guys!
  • Give yourself a nice shave
  • wear that new dress shirt you were saving
  • gel your hair
  • put on a light (hospital friendly) cologne ๐Ÿ˜…

Do whatever it is that makes YOU have a bit of extra confidence & less sicky feeling ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜ทโค๏ธ

Most importantly, remember….

โ€œFabulous is your light, your smile, your energy, your positivity, your willfulness, your vitality, passion, excitement, beauty, laugh, and how you share it!โ€ โ€“ Pheo VS Fabulous

Are you guys following my new FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM?! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’–โœจ๐Ÿ’„โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ค FB: Link โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ“ธ Insta: Link @mirandasimard

Merry Christmas my loves โค๏ธ

A Fabulous Christmas

For months all we could think about was whether or not I would be home for Christmas, when my radioactive therapy would begin, when I would have to start preparing for this difficult next step.

I was so fortunate when I heard that everything would commence in January, a fresh new year would begin, our fight will continue, our hope will stay strong, and our fear and pain will not be in vain, because every effort is being made to improve my quality of life, and that’s the best gift we could ever really ask for.

It was so wonderful to be able to celebrate such a happy occasion with my family, knowing how much preparation and reality would set in shortly after. There are so many unknowns already with this disease day to day, and when facing any procedure or treatment, you must add to that list substantially, and all you can do is enjoy times such as these whole heartedly, and be in the best possible mind set when it comes time to undergo the difficult times.

I will be sure to update as I go through each step of prep, and each new discovery, as per usual ๐Ÿ™‚

I just had to wish everyone a Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Wishing everyone of you a FABULOUS 2016!