Stop waking me up..!

I know a lot of you must be wondering what has gone down so far, other than me going to the spa and soaking up every minute of room service and other luxuries before I got admitted…. haha yes, this phase is over. 

We started by going to the hotel for the night once we arrived, and I certainly indulged. The next day was the big admissions day, everyone was out enjoying the holiday weekend, and we were anxiously awaiting being admitted for good into the hospital. That was a stressing day. 

When we arrived at the hospital, everyone kept asking me if I was getting a transplant.. ha ha.. no, they are just taking my organs, not replacing them. Weird questions to ask, right?

So once we got in and started unpacking my two suitcases (he he) I started to feel a lot more comfortable. They even have like a movie on demand type thing on the huge flat screen, I have my own bathroom and shower, and the room is super cute and new. So I’m comfortable, at least there’s that. When I first got in yesterday evening, I was only seen by one doctor and just received my meds in the allotted times in the evening. I was thinking I might get off easy and not be poked and prodded too much, think again! It started with the resident asking to examine my abdomen, they always want to do this. The minute I tell them I have chronic pain in my side from my last surgery and that I want to vomit when I even try to touch it, they automatically feel like touching me! So he tells me… normally when we have tumors on the liver, we dig deep with our hands and try to feel the liver. ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?! The liver is far dude, get those hands outta here! That was the end of that conversation. 
Today is a whole new day, I’ve had four different residents come in and speak to me about my surgery. I’ve had a anasthesiologist come to speak to me about the risks associated with trying and controlling my vitals during the operation, I’ve done an EKG, I’ve done a chest x-ray, blood tests, oh my god. Each time I’m sleeping, and to be honest I’m just exhausted lol. It’s hard being in the hospital!
So because the plan is not 100% clear until they open me during surgery, just because these tumors are so hard to predict… I don’t have an exact plan of what’s happening yet. However the anasthesiologist explained that because I’m losing a kidney, and they are resecting a part of my liver just those two things increase my chances of bleeding and further complications AFTER the procedure. I mean, I’m so hung up on worrying about what’s going to happen during the surgery.. I forget there’s internal bleeding, clotting, bile leakage.. etc. There’s also a tumor that’s attached to my small bowel, so they have to do a reconstruction in order to remove it and safely make sure my digestive system will work afterwards. There is just so much to take in, I literally don’t know how to feel nervous, because there’s so much to think about it! 

Apparently this time around they plan to keep me in an induced sleep to make sure they can allow my body a full chance to heal. So I will be definitely spending time in ICU, I have a VIP bed reserved already 😉 EW!

I will speak honestly when I say… shit is starting to get real, I’m still okay… but increasingly getting a bit more concerned. Which is completely normal, I actually think it’s abnormal how calm I am, but it is starting to sink in.

On a side note, this hospital is actually BEAUUUTIFUL and everyone is super nice. Even the food is good 😛 who would expect that?!

More updates to come… but for now, I’ll leave you with this

Not bad huh? :)
Not bad huh? 🙂


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