The lookout

I haven’t been feeling so well lately, the more time passes the more this disease gets all consuming and just more complicated. These past few days I haven’t quite been my normal cheery self. My perfect husband noticed especially tonight I was a bit overwhelmed with everything happening lately, so he says “let’s go for a drive, somewhere other than a hospital”. We’ve always been meaning to go to this lookout, which is best seen in the daytime, but we never seem to have the time.
So we hop in the truck, every road we try to take seems to be closed, detours at every turn, it seems impossible to get there, which is kind of funny at this point since I’m literally feeling like it is our life.
We get detoured through a little village, and a small store happens to be open. Now if you know me, you know fall is my favorite season, and this store just happens to have pumpkins EVERYWHERE! I was suddenly so happy, I didn’t even care if we made it to the lookout. I bought three perfect pumpkins, and a big bright yellow fall flower bush. My happiness and determination restored, we got back in Linc and decided to find a way!
We ended up making our way to the lookout, it was every bit as beautiful as promised, even at night. At that moment, all I could think about was being in the situation we are in is so hard, and cancer isn’t fun or happy, but it does make you incredibly thankful for even the smallest things, and puts you in touch with yourself and others in a way that is raw and unmasked.  Serge and I started our relationship while I was in the hospital the first time for my pheochromocytoma, and we connected in a very unconventional way. We went through more in those few months than some people will in a lifetime, and we continue to thrive in the most adverse times… Over and over again. I’m so proud of us, and I sincerely know we were brought together to make our strength stronger, and with that we are those weirdos that smile, laugh, and thank each other everyday for what we have, despite it all. Tonight was just a reminder of all I have to be thankful for, that my life and impact I will make is just the beginning.

Take a real moment, alone, with someone you love, and just reflect, reflect on everything you have, want to do, how you can be impactful, how you can be special, how you can add more happiness and positivity into your life, and just be thankful for every single thing you have, your health, your future, your relationships, even if it’s a pumpkin! 🎃💛☺️

Pheo vs Fabulous

2 thoughts on “The lookout

  1. Miranda,
    I read all your posts and it forces me stop, turn off the world around me and focus on the words in each sentence. You are wise beyond your years. We are all guilty of chasing our next “happy” and take for granted the day to day people and things that would be forever missed if they were to be taken from us.
    We are all only human and we all hit those dark days or moments, but making them the exception and not the rule is how we need to challenge ourselves.
    If we choose to see it, there is ALWAYS some thing to be grateful for, smile about or enjoy. Training our brains to live in the moment, turn the world off around us and focus on the task at hand, is the first step.
    Seeing the first market pumpkins each year, makes me smile too. There are so many memories packed in those orange gourds, how could you not be happy to see them?
    Thanks for sharing. Hugs to you!

    Like

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