When I start feeling well, even just for a few hours, my brain goes into this place where I suddenly feel I’m invincible. I’m all better, I can just skip surgery and treatments because I’m obviously just an irregular human being who can live with adrenaline producing deadly tumors and be on my Merry way. Then reality sinks in, after you have that amazing day, it really catches up with you. For the last 24 hours, I have made a new best friend: my bed.
It’s humbling, it’s inconvenient, it’s horrifying. How can I go from that to THIS? It seems biologically improbable, but this is life, and even though I normally get my way, life is a little more bad ass than I am. (I know, it’s hardly fair) If I look on the bright side, I got to spend the entire time in bed with my husband, who brought me ben and jerrys, told me I was beautiful, and basically just proved as always to be the most loving and wonderful human I know.
I won’t say it wakes me up to the fact that this is my norm, because I’m much too stubborn to allow that thought into my realm of thinking. I will however say I’ve seen a new side of my opponent. You can’t fear it, nor can you ignore it. So what are you left with? Respect. Just because you respect a strong opponent, does not mean you have given up. It doesn’t make you any less of a fighter, it just means you have to find new ways to outsmart it.
Given the fact that I predicted some rough patches being that we are so close to surgery, I booked a spa day for my husband and I. A day to renew our bodies and minds and just let the heavenly spa feeling envelop us and come out feeling ….new. A day to soak up all of the over priced organic cleansing deliciousness that they offer, a day to just forget about everything except soft skin and blueberry detoxifying scrubs.
This was until I heard the most unfair news in the entire world, apparently you can’t have a massage when you have Cancer. Any type of cancer, let alone a Cancer that is little grenades of adrenaline in your body. WHAT?!? What kind of evil injustice is this? The people who need a massage at the spa the most are the ones who are unable to do so. F&@/$, ok I’m done my little rant.
The whole reason why I started this post is to share this very important fact. DO NOT GET a massage if you have Cancer, or perhaps other illnesses as well before checking with your doctor and the professional providing the service. I honestly thought having a lymphatic drainage style massage would decrease stress and promote circulation which would in turn be beneficial for my body before surgery. Well my goodness I was wrong, so no matter how ridiculous you feel it is to fill out those medical forms at the dentist, spa, or any place it seems irrelevant or too personal, it’s not. They are doing their jobs, and they are doing it right. It’s for your own safety, and I’m so thankful a friend of mine actually pointed out it could be dangerous to have a treatment like that done with my condition.
Well, the spa IS still my answer to everything, I did not abandon entirely just because I couldn’t get a massage 😛 we are still going for facials and a peaceful lunch by the beautiful river and it is going to be divine. See? I told you I would find a way to outsmart our little frenemy.
Tomorrow is going to be a new day, a day to makeup for the fact I’ve been feeling horrible for the last 24 hours, so there! *sticks tongue out* #winning
Pheo VS Fabulous