The last post I wrote was filling everyone in on what’s been going on these past few months. Besides that I know you haven’t heard much from me.
I wish I had more time and energy to write… Actually, if I am completely honest, I just wish I had more time and energy.
When your time becomes scrambled into appointments instead of days, cancer treatments instead of months, it’s bound to become exhausting… and all consuming.
It will be 2 years on the 10th of October that I’ll have heard the words that changed my life, and since then my life has been a constant whirlwind of how to’s:
-how to become educated on an incredibly rare disease
-how to become my own advocate
-how to save my own life
-how to fight against a cancer that will always win
-how to not lose hope
-how to help others through my own experience
-how to not let this cancer take away who I am
-how to stay FABULOUS
I touched briefly in my latest post about starting chemo injections, another new treatment. I am so fortunate to have this treatment available to me, and incredibly blessed to have a doctor who is always working with me to be one step ahead, but it doesn’t come without its share of side effects.
This is partly why you haven’t heard much from me, because it’s been quite hard to settle into yet another new treatment regimen. One that is unique – every day, multiple injections a day, without any reprieve.
I can no longer choose when I want to be reminded of this cancer, I am now surrounded by it 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
I wake up to the pain of it, and I go to bed to the pain and discomfort of it.
The very few times I am feeling ‘okay’, I definitely want to spend this precious time doing things that bring me happiness, joy, and relaxation.
Before we know it I will be heading in again for another massive radiotherapy treatment, this time even more intimidating because it’s a clinical trial setting.
So I’ve decided that after two years of
becoming educated on my rare disease,
figuring out how to save my own life,
fighting against a cancer that will inevitably win,
holding onto hope and sharing that hope with others like me,
and most of all… finding ways to stay fabulous after EVERYTHING that’s happened….
it’s time to focus on one thing and one thing only…
I wrote this on the first page of my blog – the day Pheo VS Fabulous was born:
Pheo VS Fabulous was born from the promise that I would never let this disease take away the one thing I could control, and I’ve labeled that my fabulous. When I became ill I realized how much we take for granted, and it started with how day to day tasks are so challenging when you’re battling an illness like pheochromocytoma cancer, that’s when I decided I wouldn’t let it that away from me. It’s more than just looking a certain way, it’s about BEING fabulous, strong, and positive when you have every reason not to be.
So that’s what I am going to be doing, focusing on BEING fabulous, strong, and positive…. despite the odds! 😉
Using the little time I do have doing joyful things, take a small break from the PHEO, and focus more on the FAB…
Since I can’t exactly fly across the world, let alone walk up the stairs… haha, I’ve started my little happiness scale by decorating pumpkins with my family, and spending time with the ones I love the most. I love fall, so this means everything to me.