And we leave for round 3 – PRRT

After having said all I have to say in my last Post, gotten that off my chest… everything I’ve been feeling over the past few days…

we are here. At the hospital that will give me my third round of my clinical trial – PRRT 

We travelled yesterday several hours into the night to eventually arrive to the hospital that will eventually administer the experimental liquids that maybe or maybe will not help me diminish some of this pain I’ve been feeling. Maybe it will do nothing. Perhaps it will make me worse. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I was absolutely terrified the last few days, thinking about just driving here and adding to my state of pain, and then actually having to endure treatment?! HA!

of course then having to even consider the next few months…. ugh, my worsening body, and the NEXT round. I just can’t.

I’m not one to cry but it hurts so much lately, kidney stones, complications, the attacks, everything seems to compile at once and just want to break you down.

💊💉🏥😷😭

Well I am broken, but I’m still going to take whatever pieces of me are left and fight this awful cancer and get this Treatment done, that’s why they call it ROUND 3 – they’re throwing me in the ring with some help… well i always win. I always win. I always win. 

🙏🏼👊🏼

To my person,
my eyes reflect the longing for the moments we should have had together and will never see, but love for the time spent together everyday, yet I feel such pain when you cherish the simplicity in our mundane routine, and even more pain when I know that you feel everything I feel.

I love you more than words can ever share, and I wish to go with you as many places as we were ever intended to go, with me in a state where I can enjoy it – this can’t be it. This pain cannot be it.

But if it is… my gift to you is that you were the only one who truly saw what this disease did to me throughout this whole time. The relentless pain of this 24/7 psychological and physical warfare, you’re my number one first. Before anything else, you’re the one who I fight for and dig deep to find my last smile for each time, because you’re the one who’s always there making me laugh.

So if it ends up that this it, things don’t go our way and I’m still in so much pain – just know that I will dig deep and find my smile for you baby.

like you say… we’re going through something so beautiful, when do you ever get to experience this?
💞✨🙏🏼

To my beautiful wife,
We have done allot…
But I had so much more I would of loved to do. Just spending time with you is allready a gift. And one day we will do lots. So let’s go get you in to shape. Quebec here we come. I am bringing you my most precious diamond it’s a bit of a diamond in the rough health wise so please polish it up verry well so I can take her all around the world and show how priceless she is.
💗💗💗

I love you baby!!!

PHEO VS FABULOUS

 

Facetune

4 thoughts on “And we leave for round 3 – PRRT

  1. Miranda,

    You most likely don’t remember me….
    We used to hang with your Mom and Dad in the 90’s…long ago!
    I just wanted to tell you that it breaks my heart to read your journey…However, I’ve come to somewhat feel your strength..to feel the love you and Serge have….to feel for hope…..to be hopeful in this experimental treatment….to be positive, in knowing that you were chosen for this treatment…to hold optimism upon the completion of your treatments….you appear to be a beautiful spirit, inside and out….you were put here to guide…..you were put here to teach…you were put here to share….you are making your journey ours…we will send healing vibes, healthy prayers and positive energy to you….Stay the strongest you can💓

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  2. Oh Mandi! How I hate to hear that things are worse and not better for you! Continued prayers and hears to that “third times the charm” and this will actually work to help you feel better!!!

    Like

  3. From afar, but right next to you. In spirit and in love, I walk with you and feel you and all you going through. 3rd PRRT coming up 8 May for Duncan, he says, “don’t you dare give up, don’t let this win, you, I and many others, will win, just hold on dear Miranda, HOLD ON” Love and strongs

    Like

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