If you asked me two months ago where I was going to be today, my answer would be very different than right now.
I’m a positive person, but when you can’t walk or talk … there’s a point where positivity and realism needs to be used with caution. Which is why we dream, and dream, and dream some more. Which is what I did.
They say a dream is a wish your heart makes, well my heart did a lot of wishing for me…. but it came true ❤️
When I was admitted into the hospital unable to speak or walk, with so much pain, little to no mental function, and almost none of myself left…. if you asked me where I’d be in two months, I wouldn’t have guessed how I got my wish, and how I’m able to write about it with all of the people I care about so much.
….But here I am, doing just that.
Isn’t it beautiful?
Not giving up?
What is it I always go on about?
I’ll never let this disease take my ‘Fabulous’, well it took a lot of pieces of me this time, but I still hung onto my fab so tight… the year leading up to this was hard. The hardest year so far, but I can honestly say that we didn’t once let that stop us from smiling, no matter how awful it got. That’s what got us through.
I can also say that I smiled through just about everything.
You have to.
Because for better or worse this disease isn’t going anywhere, so you have to make a decision. Live with it, or fight against it. Eventually people can lose a fight, but I can keep finding ways of living with cancer. Makes sense huh?
I think I’ve figured out this nasty little turd, shhhhhh!
I truly wanted to update everyone and tell you that for right now I’m feeling much better all things considered, I’m not running a marathon anytime soon but I made it to the water without the help of my wheelchair today and I haven’t done anything ‘crazy’ like that in a long time! 😂
The reason why I wanted to share this is because we’re far too hard on ourselves and we don’t celebrate the small stuff. I’ve come such a long way and I don’t ever recognize some major milestones even though they may seem like small ones. It’s about time we realize things like this may not come around again. So celebrate EVERYTHING!
And don’t forget that beautiful smile 😀!
I just wanted to share a bit of good news, I’m feeling MUCH better. I don’t know where I’ll be in the coming months, but as for right now…. I’ll take it. I have a long road ahead of me, but as long as I keep smiling, I’m sure my fabulous can get through anything.
Pheo VS FABULOUS
I love how you make a difference between fighting against and living with. I think that this type of reframing is very helpful to any of us dealing with chronic and rare illnesses. Take care and I wish you a healthy and hopeful 2019.
[…] So as much as I felt frustrated, my ego loudly saying “we worked this hard only to have the same outcome?!” I had to ground myself and remind how far I’ve come. Which is what led me to the blog I first shared at the beginning of this post. If you missed it, you can read it here. […]